Sunday, July 27, 2008

what I think about in the shower

I'm sure I am dying
my head is going to explode
or my balls are rotting off, maybe
and they touch everything else
so it's all gonna go
I can't see a doctor
He will lay me in a white bed
with tubes in my veins
tubes down my throat
a tube up my knob
the very idea!
my poor veins

I don't like to think of anything going OUT of my veins
and I sure as FUCK
don't want anything going in!

a tube down my throat

what is that for
you didn't even ask me if I WANTED to keep breathing

a tube up my knob

Come now, Doctor.
Are we not both gentlemen?

and I will never allow you
to expose me to radiation
unless it is your intention to make me
an Incredible Fucking Hulk
no, not me, I can't
I will wither beneath those rays
I will become weak and impotent
would you take from me what little strength I have?
I refuse treatment
I will die like a man
oh god I am dying
what am I going to do
I am a little shit of a man
I won't have to go to work tomorrow
I won't have to have a future
I will have to decide who to take with me
to Walt Disney World
for my last hurrah
what if I invite people who don't like each other
will they pretend to get along for my sake
what if they tell me I should not drink alcohol in my condition
are you allowed to drink alcohol at Disney World?
fuck you I am dying I will drink what I want

Saturday, July 12, 2008


all of my friends are gone
and I've used up my best ideas
the election has become boring
and I'm tired of prizefighting
there's no one I want in my bed
and nothing I want in my mouth
there's never anything to eat around here