a lady comes into the bookstore

a lady comes into the bookstore
every day, to buy a candy bar
and a diet pepsi
I think she used to have some cancer
anyway, yesterday she came
and we were all out of diet pepsi
I asked her
if she would like to try
a diet cherry pepsi
she said
do you want me to BARF

every artist you respect

every artist you respect
has, at one time or another
tried to marry
his 14 year old cousin

for my next trick

I will press my tiny face
into your tiny
beer belly
until I see can see the stars