John McCain

I hope John McCain dies
on the campaign trail
I hope he shits himself to death

what I think about in the shower

I'm sure I am dying
my head is going to explode
or my balls are rotting off, maybe
and they touch everything else
so it's all gonna go
I can't see a doctor
He will lay me in a white bed
with tubes in my veins
tubes down my throat
a tube up my knob
the very idea!
my poor veins

I don't like to think of anything going OUT of my veins
and I sure as FUCK
don't want anything going in!

a tube down my throat

what is that for
you didn't even ask me if I WANTED to keep breathing

a tube up my knob

Come now, Doctor.
Are we not both gentlemen?

and I will never allow you
to expose me to radiation
unless it is your intention to make me
an Incredible Fucking Hulk
no, not me, I can't
please
I will wither beneath those rays
I will become weak and impotent
would you take from me what little strength I have?
I refuse treatment
I will die like a man
oh god I am dying
what am I going to do
I am a little shit of a man
I won't have to go to work tomorrow
I won't have to have a future
I will have to decide who to take with me
to Walt Disney World
for my last hurrah
what if I invite people who don't like each other
will they pretend to get along for my sake
what if they tell me I should not drink alcohol in my condition
are you allowed to drink alcohol at Disney World?
fuck you I am dying I will drink what I want

Complaints

all of my friends are gone
and I've used up my best ideas
the election has become boring
and I'm tired of prizefighting
there's no one I want in my bed
and nothing I want in my mouth
there's never anything to eat around here

Josh Fugate's plea to everyone that he loves

if I should ever become
BRAIN DAMAGED
I beg you
try to remember me as I was

summer stroke

I can come in from the heat
and feel the difference in the air
and I am in a house I was in
when I was a kid
this happened in less than one second
I didn't try
Pretty good, right?

I can walk
I can walk without looking down at my feet
I can hear a sound
I can hear it and I can look in the direction that the sound came from
I can do that without even trying
So what.
A dog can do that.
So what.
Well, dogs are smart
Dogs are smart
I am repeating myself
Did I used to repeat myself?
I can't remember what I used to do

Josh, I think you've had enough to drink

WHAT WHO DO YOU I'LL TELL YOUWHEN I'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK

YOU'LL KNOW WHEN I HAD TOO MUCH CUZ I'LL BE DEAD AS SHIT

SAN FRANCISCO

Once again
you'd gotten me stinking drunk
and then left me on my own
and when I politely asked you
to stop being a dick all the time
you told me to stop acting like
a damn little girl

Well, that is some fucking NERVE on you.
How DARE you?
at least a little girl has got
an IMAGINATION
What have you got?
Let's see:

You've got a big nose
(undeniable)
you've got a pig's trough filled with
anti-depressants
some slang you picked up from me
(that you constantly misuse)
a cunt that bleeds every day
of course, you've got your meager talents
and
a one-way ticket to San Francisco
that you've mortgaged your family for

oh, to start a new life in
SAN FRANCISCO!
no one has ever been miserable in
SAN FRANCISCO
I left my heart in
SAN FRANCISCO
let's get AIDS in
SAN FRANCISCO
there is a great big bridge in
SAN FRANCISCO
let's push each other off of it!