to the cute girl in my ethics class

There's a terrible irony to be found
in the knowledge that your gentle beauty
inspires in me wicked, decadent thoughts

I would whisper the very worst of my obscenities
savor the taste as they slide down my tongue
and into your tiny ear

I would bury my face between your legs
and stay there
for a week, or a month
or the rest of my life

I would expose you
to every single one of my deformities
both physical, and otherwise

I would take you with me to church
so that I can, with God as my witness
nail you to the cross and fuck you on it

I would kill, one by one
with guns or a knife
or my own sweaty hands
every other fucked-up retard in this room
so that I am the only fucked-up retard left to talk to

I'm sorry sorry sorry
Sorry for thinking this
sorry for writing it down
sorry that I want to wait until your head is turned and
slide this poem
into your book bag

wild looks

1.
I can admit to myself
that your angst is sexier than my angst
bigger, more profound
but heavens, what a thing to be jealous of!
still, you don't have to whisper these secrets to yourself
in the dark
I understand both more and less than you think I do

2.
I'm big enough to admit
that an event does not automatically carry more historical significance
because it took place on my birthday
but it certainly lights a fire beneath my own interest
You get a wild look in your eye
when you've been drinking
that starts to fade when you measure the distance
between what you want and what you can get
For my part, the distance lies between
what I wish I wanted and what I actually want
I want to hear everyone speaking
in my own voice
I want to see
wild looks
on every face

Bobby

Fuck off, Bobby
fuck your shit
why don't you EAT shit
eat garbage
eat your own bad ideas
eat whatever you find in the toilet
I'd like to see you try
to live off of your ideas
I'd like to see you in the toilet
I will never eat your ideas
I will never eat your DICK
I will never eat my LUNCH
FUCK YOU BOBBY

the hungry faces

In a plastic classroom, I sat
staring into the hungry faces
of human beings
Uncomfortable, I turned to the wall
Someone had written a poem on it
it went like this:
"Penis"

John McCain

I hope John McCain dies
on the campaign trail
I hope he shits himself to death

what I think about in the shower

I'm sure I am dying
my head is going to explode
or my balls are rotting off, maybe
and they touch everything else
so it's all gonna go
I can't see a doctor
He will lay me in a white bed
with tubes in my veins
tubes down my throat
a tube up my knob
the very idea!
my poor veins

I don't like to think of anything going OUT of my veins
and I sure as FUCK
don't want anything going in!

a tube down my throat

what is that for
you didn't even ask me if I WANTED to keep breathing

a tube up my knob

Come now, Doctor.
Are we not both gentlemen?

and I will never allow you
to expose me to radiation
unless it is your intention to make me
an Incredible Fucking Hulk
no, not me, I can't
please
I will wither beneath those rays
I will become weak and impotent
would you take from me what little strength I have?
I refuse treatment
I will die like a man
oh god I am dying
what am I going to do
I am a little shit of a man
I won't have to go to work tomorrow
I won't have to have a future
I will have to decide who to take with me
to Walt Disney World
for my last hurrah
what if I invite people who don't like each other
will they pretend to get along for my sake
what if they tell me I should not drink alcohol in my condition
are you allowed to drink alcohol at Disney World?
fuck you I am dying I will drink what I want

Complaints

all of my friends are gone
and I've used up my best ideas
the election has become boring
and I'm tired of prizefighting
there's no one I want in my bed
and nothing I want in my mouth
there's never anything to eat around here